Headlines

The Onion: America’s Finest News Source


“Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris”

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/morning_show_host_starts_charity?utm_source=a-section

This headline introduces a chip from the Onion News Network and show Today Now. Host Tracy Gill presents a piece she conducted to raise money and awareness for her new charity. The headline argues a morning show host is working toward eliminating flying debris within the world, the clip supports the headline and it’s statement.

“The Only Way Out Of This Crisis Is To Build More Houses”

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/the_only_way_out_of_this_crisis?utm_source=b-section

The headline opens up a debate concerning the resent economic crisis. The writer (Tony Sasnett) of this article seems to believe that if American builders construct more houses within our country, the economic crisis will eliminate its self. By reading the article, viewers can conclude Sasnett strongly believes this is the only and best solution for our problem. On a side note: I strongly disagree.

“Marc Stein Treated For OCD After Latest NBA Power Rankings List Teams From Dirtiest To Cleanest”

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/marc_stein_treated_for_ocd?utm_source=a-section

The headline is in reaction to a previous segment Stein did ‘related’ to the NBA. It brings enlightenment to the unnecessary comments the announcer made. The headline does justice to nock Stein’s report. Seriously.. how does discussing basketball even begin to relate to team cleanness!

The Wall Street Journal


“The Cheers And Jeers For A Costly New Ballpark”

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123863009166180633.html

This headline attracts its intended audience in a way other articles do not. The words “cheers and jeers” immediately trigger a subject based on sports or entertainment. The article discusses a questionable topic concerning the opening of a new ballpark in Boston. The economic crisis is also center attention of this article.

“Belly Up To The Bar And Buy Some Jeans”

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123862311574879951.html

This is a very confusing headline. At first, I thought it was suggesting people should drink at bars in new jeans. Weird? Indeed. However, the article is discussing a trend among a men’s clothing boutique called Lost Boys. I do not think the headline is relevant.

“When He Was 46 It Was A Very Good Year”

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123862611987180187.html

After reading this headline, one can assume the article is about an older man who recalls his ‘younger days’. In fact the article is about an older man, who is about to turn 90 years old. The man was the writer to “It Was A Very Good Year” a song he wrote years ago.

AJC

“Two Women Accuse Johns Creek Doctor Of Sexual Battery”
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/northfulton/stories/2009/04/01/doctor_arrested.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

This is a very straightforward headline. It states the issue, in a well understanding manner. The headline doesn’t cause confusion or misunderstanding of the issue following.

“Guy Gets Nabbed Driving Barstool Drunk”

http://www.ajc.com/video/content/video/?bcpid=1659825399&bclid=1716449804&bctid=18282080001

Talk about an appealing headline! After reading this, most individuals would like to read more. The headline stays true to its topic but in a comical manner.

“Nine Patients Made Nearly 2,700 ER Visits In Texas”

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/shared-gen/ap/National/Frequent_ER_Patients.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

After reading this headline, viewers are likely to question its statement. How in the world can nine people go to the ER that many times? By questioning the headline, viewers are likely to read the remaining piece.